What are your greatest fears?
Here is the current popular list of the top ten fears that hold you back in life.
Change... The thing we can depend on - an ever-changing world.
Loneliness...
Failure...
Rejection...
Uncertainty...
Something Bad Happening...
Getting Hurt...
Being Judged...
What if there was an antidote for that feeling of being held captive to one or more of these, or any fear for that matter.
I believe there is one stealth talent and tool you can use to put you in the control seat of your life. To challenge any fear and ultimately help master it. After 40 years in business I have seen it come up over and over again. It, in itself, is a one of the greatest fears most people face. Yet, once understood in the right way and practiced it becomes the tool of choice that tames nearly every fear you have encountered in your life. If you truly want to stand in courage against the fears in your life you will be rewarded in amazing ways when you understand, practice and put this talent to use.
Before I share with you the talent you should never bury, I want a promise from you. This is a pay it forward promise to yourself that benefits yourself if you keep it. It really isn't for me. It is a promise of irony, a paradox that will fill you and those you care about with value beyond its weight in gold or oxygen and return to you in ways untold.
Here is the sad news, and it doesn't need to be so. The Pareto Principle says 8 out of 10 of you reading this will not do it. The deep reality of this solution is so far reaching in its power to solve problems in your life it will feel like too much to take in. When I share this one word with you it will put you back in your seat either to slump or to drive. You will ponder, maybe flinch and the pit in your stomach will knock on your psyche. I guarantee if this talent is learned, practiced and used in its mastered modern sense, you will never look back. In a word. Negotiation.
You may say what does negotiation have to do with fear? I say everything. Negotiation with yourself or others definitely moves your fears one way or the other. Rational thinking about why we feel the way we do is a form of negotiating with ourselves that can help us overcome the fears we may have. Most fears are in our minds so if we make decisions and plans about the things we fear or address the circumstances in our lives to help avoid the fearful outcomes we will have more control and peace in our lives. You can take any fear on the list and with self-discipline and negotiation move away from your fears.
In modern negotiation I have learned in 40 years of problem solving and practice some very cool technics that are collaborative and non-threatening and can be fun and rewarding in moving you to where you deserve. Away from fear. Seize the day!
In future blogs I will share some of the meat in negotiations that can move your confidence meter into overdrive.